Self-control asleep at the wheel
Buried in the kind of task
That carries only a sick appeal
Back to sleep
At arms length
Never withheld
Anxiety, the lash or the leash
Another mouth to feed
The sullen sun a soured star
Growing to consume
It has to be there
Dirt under these nails
Peel it all away
Layer by layer of fear
Far from the belonging sought
Yet this isolation is a wish
Hoping that you'll fall apart
Completion a curse run from
More selfish pursuits
Burying the lead to believe
You could never be enough
Self-deception of these perceptions
Helter-skelter in disguise
Only now realized
Convincing and conniving
A mask here down below
Receding then reviving
Depressive waves that ebb and flow
Surrounded by such living colors
Submerged in a kind of liquid
Bottomless it crowds your lungs
Pulling at the weeds
Where roots beg for the grasping
A task of self-reliant violence
Hands afraid of the asking
Price too steep to bargain
You'd find her here again
And foolishly still run your mouth
Having no other projects
Injuries you failed to mend
Friendships doomed to failure
Loves left meaningless
A wayside for a homestead
Time all for the wasting
Liminal you lay your head
Trying to convince yourself
Worthlessness is more a rule
Than a guideline after all
You're less than exceptional
Another headline swallowed
Background radiation
The static in your head now
Changing the radio station
It has to be there
Justification
For all of this self-hatred
Just another cycle
Until the waves return
To carry you back up
A whirlwind you scarcely remember
Carried in the chariots of gods
Reviving and receiving
Manic waves that ebb and flow
Deviant you fall from grace
Falling in love
Here on your face
Felling feelings spawned in haste
Sparks malformed
Shown as mistakes
Cut down by spells miscast
Rattling apart at the seams
A part to play at last
If only in her dreams
Lash or Leash
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